A Place for Ribs … and Jokes
You know what’s funny? There is a rib restaurant called “Tony Roma’s” and our Quarterback (Tony Romo) has a broken rib! That’s really funny! I don’t know if it’s “million-dollar-football-studio-show” funny. I don’t think it’s 10 different “million-dollar-football-studio-shows” funny. But we just can’t seem to get away from that rib joke. What if I told you … Jerry Jones and Jason Garrett celebrated and ate all you can eat ribs at Tony Roma’s this week? Just kidding!
So I’ll present my penetrating analysis of the game before getting the real meat off the bone (so to say). Tony Romo will play or he won’t. Either way, the Redskins offense matches up amazingly bad against our defense. Somewhere in the 3rd quarter, Ware will be wailing on Rex Grossman with his own arm saying “why are you sacking yourself?” Either way, if we can’t run the ball you might as well put on a bib and reach for the Onion Loaf ™ (btw, if you ever eat at Tony Romo’s you HAVE to try this). Even with Romo in we’re averaging 2 yards a carry and less then 40% of our plays are designed runs. If Romo plays, then he’s going to have to carry the weight of the offense like a full rack, 2 sides, and a shake.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, on to more important things. I’ve decided to create a list of all-time greatest Rib Jokes! I hope Tony Romo doesn’t read these before the game. He might split a rib. Anyway… On to the Rib Ticklers….
BEST RIB JOKES EVER:
Adam had been staying out late at night and coming home in the mornings and Eve was getting jealous. The morning after a big fight, Adam woke up with Eve laying on top of him. Adam started to get frisky, but Eve told him, “Put that thing away! I was just counting your ribs to see if you were cheating.”
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: The “spare” ribs!
Q: If the quickest way to a Man’s heart is through his stomach, what’s the quickest way to a Woman’s heart?
A: Straight through the ribcage with a 10” circular saw.
Q: What did the rib say to the heart?
A: I got you covered!
AND FOR THE ALL TIME GREATEST RIB JOKE OF ALL TIME*:
Adam tells God that he is lonely. God says, “I’ll make you a smart, attractive, and sweet mate with a nice personality who will love you and mate with you, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.” Adam thinks for a minute and asks, “What can I get for a rib?”
*This is like saying the greatest Washington Redskin of all time, or the best smelling turd ever (on a surprising side note, the answer to both questions is “Dexter Manley”).